The commercials are out there and they share a story. A story of people exercising freely and without judgment. They are allowed the privacy of a facility that allows you to exercise without excess noise. You have the ability to join this facility without any knowledge of exercise. That all sounds pretty standard, right?
When I first saw the “lunk alarm” commercials, I thought they were a joke. In my head it did not seem possible that there was literally an alarm. I found out through MANY videos online that there is definitely an alarm. I also found out many other NO NO’s of the gym. These things were ridiculous like; not being able to deadlift, not bringing in a gallon of water, no area for bodyweight exercises, and absolutely no clanging of weights. Seriously? Smashing weights can be annoying and so can a few dropped dumbbells. Why not simply ask them to stop? How is a gallon of water intimidating? No area for bodyweight exercises? Some things I get, but the commercials did get one thing right (don’t worry, that is the icing on this cake, explained later).
Upon visiting the website (as I have no desire to step foot into the “facility”), I did see loud and clear a message that said Planet Fitness provides a unique fitness environment in which ANYONE can be comfortable. Wow, that sounds super fantastic, sign me up! However, the place is very far from judgement free and comfortable for ANYONE. Unfortunately, these non-salespeople (they claim they do not have salespeople so they don’t bother anyone) continue on with what they feel people want to hear. They don’t have childcare, personal trainers, or a simple juice bar. Why? Apparently these additional amenities (that you usually pay extra for, if you choose) are not necessary because they drive up costs.
The icing on this cake is that they say they are not a gym. Congratulations! You got ONE thing right. You are not a gym, you are Planet Failure. The facility provides no REAL exercise education other than the standard exercise machine instructions. There is no guidance as to what would be the best form of training for the individual. So, please, sign-up for a membership, because this facility obviously wants nothing more for or from you than your monthly dues. The good news is that you can grab a Coke on the way out, that way you can be damn sure you need to keep coming back! Yes, they seriously do have Coke in their coolers.
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